The spandexed and fabulous foursome are back at it again with their fifth studio album, hot and heavy from the studio and ready to violate your ears. The “Death to All But Metal” rockers have another message for music lovers of all varieties. That message is in their new album, Heavy Metal Rules.
“Heavy Metal Rules is the perfect phrase to describe how we feel. It’s not just music; it’s a lifestyle. We’ve been able to create an environment for ourselves where nothing is off limits. There are no boundaries. We push it because we like to push it,” Stix Zadinia says of the new album. Their ability to push boundaries so far where they stay out of the news because, quite frankly, they’re too filthy to print, keeps fans (Lexxi’s mom) faithful and always coming back for more. This album pushes all those boundaries, but also epitomizes what Metal is all about and is more relatable for fans who can’t understand “the burden of getting as much pussy as Steel Panther.”
Their first album single, “All I Wanna Do Is Fuck (Myself Tonight)” opens the album. The only thing better than this track is the music video, as Steel Panther may be the Orson Welles of our generation as they master visual storytelling like they master their instruments. This track is relatable when you’re too hot (or not) to hook up with anyone else. The chanting “All I wanna do is FUCK, FUCK” in the chorus makes it the best song to throw your fist in the air and punch it.
Their next single, “Always Gonna Be a Ho” is the perfect counterpart to my favorite song, “Community Property.” The softer song speaks of love, hurt, and the hint that Michael Starr knows exactly what Satchel is packing. The Queen easter egg in the video alone is worth the watch, if not for the sweet burn against your ex the lyrics give you.
As a basic white girl writing this review, “Fuck Everybody” resonnated the most with me as they cataloged everything that makes a horrible day putting one in a “Fuck everybody” mood, especially when topping it with “Went to my local Starbucks. Ordered my usual fare: double vanilla latte with whipped cream and cinnamon sprinkle. Dude three people behind me in line, got his frapaccino first…FUCK EVERYBODY!” This song is the perfect song to blast on a bad day when you want to tell the world to suck your proverbial or literal dick.
Title track, “Heavy Metal Rules” opens the song with the singular thing all metalheads know and love about Metal: “I didn’t do it for the money, I did it to get laid.” The slower rhythm of this song drives home its meaning and will soon become every metalhead’s anthem, “I’m never going to stop playing, even though Rock & Roll ain’t paying, cause “Heavy Metal rules!”
“Gods Of Pussy” is the autobiographical song for Steel Panther where it details the “burden of getting so much pussy,” as hinted above. If their biopic never gets made, this song will stand the test of time and the lyrics will be forever on their epitaphs. “Gods of pussy, putting our wangs in their sweet putangs. Making them gush in the back of the bus.”
This new album is a great addition to the Steel Panther catalog! Every single song was great, they mesh well with their classics like “Glory Hole” and “Asian Hooker,” but they’re also evolving in their sound showing that they’re also gods of Metal. Satchel promises “we’re going to write about sex, drugs, and all of the bitchin’ shit from the 80s we love,” so fans can expect Steel Panther to “fucking conquer the world the Steel Panther way,” vocalist Michael Starr declares.
To preorder this album, head to www.steelpantherrocks.com and remember that Heavy Metal Rules!
Track List:
- Zebraman
- All I Wanna Do is Fuck (Myself Tonight)
- Let’s Get High Tonight
- Always Gonna Be A ho
- I’m Not Your Bitch
- Fuck Everybody
- Heavy Metal Rules
- Sneaky Little Bitch
- Gods of Pussy
- I Ain’t Buying What You’re Selling
